I hope you’re having a wonderful March and spring is starting to arrive wherever you may be reading this from :)

If you missed my last post (or you’re maybe just forgetful), I released a song a few weeks back called City Half Awake !!

Now, in a completely shameless fashion…

Here’s a song to listen to whilst you read this post: City Half Awake - Molly Rymer

I wrote this song back when I was 18. A couple of weeks into my new-found adulthood I was kissed at a house party by a boy from my maths course who I’d locked eyes with a few times in the music corridors and across the college common area. I did not register what was happening in time to kiss him back. Safe to say, nothing like this had really happened to me up until that point. This was only emphasised further by me excitedly texting my mum right after it had happened.

To paint you an even better picture - this is who we’re dealing with:

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Anyways, to cut a long story short, a few months later we were chatting back and forth over Snapchat (yes, I know), and it was becoming increasingly clear that we were interested in different outcomes from whatever it was we were doing.

I’ve survived 9 years of adulthood since this time in my life, and I have no bad feeling at all now looking back. But back then, watching his interest in me fade to nothing without anything really happening to cause it, it was painful. In the spaces where our texts once occupied, I would bump into him around campus with another girl, go home and stalk her Instagram page, and wonder what she had that I didn’t.

Whilst much of this song was my attempt at being poetic and philosophical, at its heart I think I was trying to process a desperate grapple with my self-worth.

About 18 months before all of this, I was on holiday with my family somewhere in the Canary Islands. James Bay had not long since released Chaos and The Calm and I had bought it on iTunes (something that feels like ancient practice now). It was the album that soundtracked my sun-kissed teenage summer, developing a huge crush on one of the hotel entertainment reps and surrendering my crippling adolescent embarrassment for a few hours to try yoga round the pool.

I decided there and then that I would be a holiday rep once I turned 18. That I would travel, host games in the pool, speak different languages, star in cabaret evening shows, and be fawned over by teenage girls with pink-dipped hair…

I’m sure you won’t be surprised when I tell you this didn’t happen. My skillset at this age, things like 100%-ing a maths exam and a remarkable ability to avoid direct eye contact at all times, was not conducive with jumping on a plane to Spain and never looking back.

Instead, I packed my duvet, guitar, and new matching IKEA crockery set into my mum’s car and started the long journey down to Exeter university. But my hopes to see the world had not disappeared completely… instead they just took on a new shape:

In August 2019, I got on a plane to Aarhus, Denmark for a year that would both challenge me and continue to fuel my burning passion for travel - unaware that the world was about to change for everybody.

By September 2020, I was sat back in my old bedroom in Exeter, deep into what I can fondly refer to now as a mental breakdown. Going to a seminar meant sitting in your coat for 2 hours whilst cold air circulated around 6 desks, usually only half occupied, and separated by at least 2 meters. The rest of the time, I’d sit in my pyjamas in the tiny kitchen of our four bed house, flitting between drabs of essay research, episodes of Modern Family, and doom scrolling through my Facebook feed.

It was there that I came across one of our university societies offering the chance to climb Mount Kilimanjaro for charity. Before doing anything else, I called my mum (naturally). I worried that this was some silly distraction from my real-life struggles that I would regret immensely once I was stood in my thermals trying to figure out how to drink from a water bladder among a group full of strangers.

August 2022 I cried in the airport. Then I got on the plane, made friends with some girls who could french plait hair, and I climbed a f*cking mountain.

I don’t think I was ever going to be properly satiated again after that.

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Here are some things that have turned out to be true since I turned 18:

• I will probably never be a holiday rep

• My self-worth should not be measured by somebody else’s standards

• I will make friends on my travels that will last years beyond them

• I will make friends on my travels that won’t last more than a few days

• I will eat pretty much whatever is put in front of me, no matter how bad it looks, if I’m eating it on a mountain

• I will never be good at sleeping on a long haul flight

• No matter how grumpy I am, once I’m on stage singing anything feels possible

• I will always call my mum when big decisions are on the table

“To Travel Is To Live” is embossed on a green notepad a friend bought me for my 21st birthday. I really don’t think there are any two things in life that make me feel more alive than travel and music.

So here they are together : here’s a little lyric video I made of my most recent travels to celebrate the release of City Half Awake… which has been a looooong time coming.

I will also be sharing a live recording of the track from our December show at Hyde Park Book Club, later this week… here’s a little sneak peak…

Rating the Patatas Bravas we ate in Barcelona (Feb 2026):

Petit Pot

• 7.5/10 - potato cubes were teeny tiny but lots of them. mayo was a lil bit thick/ratio to bravas sauce was lacking. I enjoyed them being small and cute but not appropriate testers for crunch:fluffiness ratio.

L’Arrosseria Xàtiva

• 8/10 - arrived individually sauced (a fun novelty). all around solid but we’d already had our favourites earlier that day so the bar was already too high. was more impressed by the Catalan speciality Pan de cristal which doesn’t look like much at first, but I have not stopped thinking about it since…

Faire

• 8/10 - Patatas Bravarissa - a super tasty lil twist on the classic: homemade harissa sauce and miso vegan mayo. potatoes were lightly fried baby potatoes rather than deep-fried crispy chunks, which was slightly disappointing on our first eve, accounting for the 2 point loss.

Taller de tapas

• 8.5/10 - honestly, the standout for me at Taller de tapas was the Ibérico ham croquets which I could’ve eaten ten times over as my whole meal and still been happy. bravas themselves had an excellent amount of crunch and we got a big ol’ plate for the price. no qualms

Madre

• 9.5/10 - No Hay Mañana Bravas (There is no tomorrow bravas) - knocked off half a point because these were the only veggie option on the whole menu, but can’t complain too much because… it’s Spain. absolutely insane. perfect bravas sauce, great crunch, could’ve ordered another round and Tom thought his accompanying sangria tasted like vimto and was a big fan. 4 big thumbs up.

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Songs I’m playing on repeat right now:

Iron Out - Marnie Glum

My Regards - Maisie Peters

Kids - Poppy Prescott

Rental Love - Lake Street Dive

TV Show - Katie Gregson-Macleod

The Kill - Maggie Rogers

I’d Have To Think About It - Leith Ross

Marching Round The Ladies - Joshua Burnside

JUMPSCARE…

My next single “Lie” is out on the 3rd of April! You can pre-save it here :)

Until then

- Mol x

Would you believe me if I told you this is the 5 zillionth time I’ve tried to write this post? Okay, maybe not that many times… but pretty close.

Here’s a song to listen to whilst you read this newsletter: You and I Both - Billie Marten

In classic January fashion (yes, I know it’s February, I really have been writing this post forever), I’ve found the start of my 2026 surmounting to 1 part enthusiasm, drive, and general excitement, followed by 3 parts overwhelm. It turns out, the new year has a way of making me compare myself to the idea of 27-year-old me that was created by my 16 year-old self… and let’s just say, she expected us to not to still be living at home as a minimum.

Thankfully, I get on with myself more each year that goes by - even when I take a little dip off the edge of sanity, or feel completely hopeless, or crash-out about ~the future~, that little curve is still going up. So, January is just a blip. I think.

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All this to say - welcome back, and sorry it took me so long to get here. However you’re feeling this new year, I hope you can take your childhood expectations, put them in a box, poke some holes in, and say goodbye until 2027 (unless you’re completely normal and haven’t seen your 16-year-old-self since you turned 17, in which case, congratulations).

The end of my 2025 was about as good as it gets - with shows at Green Note in London (featuring my gorgeous friends Chris Cleverley, Marnie Taylor, and Sylvia Yau) and Hyde Park Book Club in Leeds (with the equally gorgeous Sam Jayne and Sleepy Jean). Although I’d been planning the shows since the end of the summer, December took over in that “wow, who knew I had so many friends and commitments” kind of way it always does, and I ended up working with two almost completely different bands for each show. It’s a testament to how many talented humans I’ve been lucky enough to meet this past year that we pulled it all off with flying colours - especially as I only met the lovely Sam (who played cello on the London show) once for an hour in the weeks prior. This was long enough to briefly rush through the structure of the songs, establish that he’s friends with somebody from my village, and have a cup of tea. I should probably also mention that we sold out the London show which was kind of incredible (and terrifying considering I had very little idea what the show was going to sound like at this point). That night I met a lady from Philadelphia who was in England visiting a friend, had wanted to make some plans and found our show online. Can it truly to be that easy? She follows me on Facebook now. I feel infinitely cooler.

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To round off the year, 7 of us squeezed onto the small stage in Hyde Park Book Club’s basement to play some new tunes and a zesty cover of Mariah’s classic Christmas anthem. Aside from the fact my beautiful band is growing exponentially and will hopefully be a 20-piece orchestra by this Christmas, I think this was one of my favourite shows to date. Playing live truly makes me feel invincible - and I think these lovely words help explain that feeling a little:

“The band’s ability to hold every ounce of the audience’s attention was genuinely striking. […] it’s clear that at a Molly Rymer gig, you are no stranger – just another voice welcomed into the chorus.” - Ezster Vida, Leeds Living

photo by Jazz Kane.

2026 ~

Aside from the dull gnawing in my chest that I’m already behind (see: 3 parts overwhelm), I think I Januar-ied pretty well.

I got an app on my phone that makes me take a breath everytime I open Instagram (which, by the end of last year, I’d gotten into a habit of doing with no forethought as to why I was actually opening the app). My PB is currently 2 attempts to open within 24 hours and I’ve read two books in the meantime (potentially completely unrelated but I’m embarrassingly proud of the fact I’ve read two whole books already this year, so I need to tell you).

I’ve also been cooking constantly… I’ve found this mostly consists of sriracha sauce.

Most of all, I can’t wait to tell you that new music is coming in TWO WEEKS (I can’t cope). The new track features the whole of my gorgeous, wonderful band and was recorded on a cold day back in November 2024 (standing over heaters between takes kind of chilly). I am horribly impatient and it’s been agony sitting on this for FAR too long, so I am giddy.

You can pre-save it here if you would like to make me very happy.

Or you can pre-save it here if you would not.

When I joined Substack, my original plan was to use this page as a mailing list. But after some recent chats and fully submitting myself to the wonders of the Substack feed, I’m going to do most of my announcing over on Bandcamp - leaving this space for longer-form rambles, researched conversation pieces and who knows what else. So, if you’d like to get exclusive drops on merch, new releases, shows, and all that lovely stuff, go give me a follow over on Bandcamp (or don’t, that’s fine, I’ll just think about it forever).

Follow me on Bandcamp !!

Right now, I’m sat in a big blue Ford transit we lovingly call Flossie. Tom has been driving us for two days through France and yesterday I dropped a whole avocado dip in Aldi and then cried because I didn’t know enough French to apologise properly. We just crossed the border into Spain and I am very excited that, thanks to the Spanish modules I dragged myself through at uni, this will not be happening again for the foreseeable - so I can juggle guac to my heart’s content (although I won’t, obviously). By the time you’re reading this, I will hopefully be wandering the streets of Barcelona with a pastry in my hand… or maybe I’ll be very carefully, very slowly making my way down ski slopes in Andorra, as I have found myself in a relationship with a man who has skied since birth and is endeavouring to make me a winter holiday convert.

Have a gorgeous weekend !

- Mol x

Songs I’m playing on repeat right now:

Evelyn - Michale McGovern

Inventing - Matilda Mann

It Only Hurts - Clara Mann

The Herald - Ezra Collective

Doctor - Arkayla

The World Is Not An Oyster - Ellur

Plans for book number 3 of the year (nothing can stop me now):

Bullshit Jobs - David Graeber

City Half Awake - out February 20th ✨ x

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I hope you’re having a gorgeous start to the week. :) Today we are exactly 4 weeks from our first ever London headline, which is absolutely crazy (!!!!!)…so I think it’s about time I tell you who’s joining me…

Say hellooo to Chris Cleverley and Sylvia Yau!!

I was lucky enough to meet these two earlier this year on the Chris Difford songwriting retreat down in Somerset with Help Musicians (which was honestly one of the best weeks I’ve ever had creating), and I am so chuffed that they want to join me on this show.

With backgrounds in dream-folk and indie/neo-soul, they’re going to be the perfect blend of warmth, introspection, and groove on this chilly December evening. I can’t wait for you to hear the night we have planned!

There are only 4 DAYS left to grab early-bird tickets - so make sure to grab yours now before they go up to full price!

London tickets! :)

Now - onto the main topic of this week’s blog…

The Music Video

First of all, I am a sucker for a good music video. Like most kids, I grew up listening to music with my parents - Bon Jovi, Rainbow, Razorlight, Guns N Roses, AC/DC… music that I loved and still love today. But in my early teens I started developing my own taste in music, fuelled by my high school ICT classes spent on Youtube and learning the entire Paramore discography not only word for word, but scene for scene - through every. single. one. of Hayley Williams’ hair transformations.

It’s not a surprise then, that I’ve been interested in making my own music videos over the years, (you can find a variety of my attempts over on my Youtube channel).

However, the more I learn about the business side of things, the more my priorities have changed in terms of what I want to invest my money in… and sadly, a high-quality music video doesn’t even make it into the conversation anymore.

It’s no secret that music videos are on the outs with our changing attention spans and need for constant short-form satisfaction. As director and photographer Olivia Rose puts it, in the late 2010s “a £30,000 budget would have got you a decent video, but now directors are being expected to use that money for three-visualisers […] plus TikTok content and some stills, plus the video”.

For independent artists like myself, nowadays that video is most likely going to be a performance video. Now, call me crazy, but I’m starting to notice a pattern over my last few blog posts, in which industry trends are harking back to the past. I’ve already discussed how the single culture of today is not too distanced from that of the 1950s/60s - and now, once again, independent artists are looking for simpler, low-budget ways to stretch themselves across platforms visually, making the performance video (which also developed during the 60s) the most sensible way to promote new music in longer form. And whilst this format has certainly stood the test of time among independents and major artists alike, its resurgence here feels slightly sour, replacing arguably more creative narrative/concept videos so that budgets can be spent building short-form clips for socials instead.

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This doesn’t mean that narrative or concept music videos are over though. As seen with Sabrina Carpenter’s Manchild recently, cinematic, high-budget videos are still alive and kicking. But of course, this only applies to those who already have enough financial backing to make this a viable choice.

The Manchild video is also a great example of creative execs adapting the medium of the music video to meet current consumption trends - as the video jumps between lots of different visually striking and obscure images to keep the viewer hooked.

For me - it seems that creating small, low-budget clips that can be looped and reused across social media platforms is the promotional tool of choice. In fact, by my last release, I’d pretty much given up on the music video altogether.

And then, surprisingly (as the best things always are), I met a content creator whilst I was at work and impressed her so much with my stunning latte art (after 3 years as a barista the only thing I can confidently make is a leaf, do with that what you will), she mentioned that she was interested in learning to direct music videos.

Flash forward 4-5 months and last Friday we filmed our first project together! And of course, whilst MTV won’t be asking to screen it anytime soon - our zero-budget baby reminded me why I fell in love with music videos in the first place.

After all, the music video is an art form, which I think can be so easily forgotten. Functioning as “a career entry point and training path for directors who did not or could not get access to the feature film industry via any of the conventional routes in theatre and television at the time”, the music video has been an “experimental playground” not only for directors but album designers, photographers, and other creative professionals within the industry for generations.

Whilst I will be making many short-form visual teasers for my next project (which I can’t wait to share with you soon) - I feel so lucky that I got the chance to make something like this with some wonderful people, just for the joy of it.

For every challenge in this job, there’s something that excites me just around the corner - I guess that’s what keeps me coming back.

As always, there’s some further reading at the bottom of this post, if you’d like to know some more about the history of the music video and how it’s looking in today’s world. :)

Love always, Mol x

P.S. Here are some of my favourite music videos - new and old - for your evening Youtube deep-dives:

• Everlong - Foo Fighters

• Ignorance - Paramore (the video that started it all for me)

• Manchild - Sabrina Carpenter

• Doomsday - Lizzy McAlpine

• Meet Cute - Matilda Mann (I just love a pop culture reference)

• Thank U, Next - Ariana Grande (see above)

• OK, GO - The One Moment

• Bon Jovi - Livin’ On A Prayer

FURTHER READING:

A Short History Of The British Music Video - The BFI

‘This Is An Art Form and We’re Losing It’: Is The Music Video Dying? - The Guardian

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I hope you’ve had a gorgeous couple of weeks - I’ve caught myself in the process of staying true to my promises and I don’t know how to feel? A second Substack in as many weeks! Thank you for joining me. :)

First of all - BOTH Leeds and London shows for December are now LIVE, with early-bird running for London until the 14th of November - you can grab tickets here!

LEEDS TIX!

LONDON TIX!

Also, All You Can Eat turned ONE on the 18th of October. A whole year of asking anybody if they’ve seen Fleabag at shows and explaining why I wear a cowboy hat for Cowards and Heroes. Thank you for all the love on this project - and thank you for loving the reworks this year too!!

We were working on this version of Say The Same at the same time as the rest of the EP, but it wasn’t what I wanted to put out at the time - and now I think it’s maybe my favourite on the whole project? We’re going to be playing it live with the full band this December for the FIRST TIME which I can’t WAIT to share with you! x

Looking out for the independent music scene.

This week, I wanted to chat about being a listener of music, rather than a creator. Because, although just two short weeks ago I was raving about my favourite albums, I’m a bit of a hypocrite.

The truth is… I don’t go to a lot of independent shows. I’m a language lover - I like tearing things apart and trying to figure out what they’re all about, becoming a passenger in the narrative of a good song. I think that’s why I find it really hard to go and watch a performance where I know I’m not going to know the words.

There have been exceptions to this, of course. I saw Clean Cut Kid at Live at Leeds back in 2017 and immediately fell in love, and earlier this year I took a last minute sleep-deprived trip to the Brudenell where I stayed in a trance watching Kate Bollinger until close. But generally, I’m a little bit rubbish at getting myself out of the house on a Tuesday evening to go and watch somebody I don’t know.

And it got me thinking… my favourite songs I’ve written don’t exist on the internet yet. How can I expect people to come to my shows and listen to music they don’t know if I’m not able to do the same?

Whilst I know this is running the risk of starting a bit of a doom + gloom trend - the independent music industry is struggling. Over 90% of music on Spotify today comes from independent musicians - and yet, consumer trends in this post-COVID, financially-inflated world are showing that people would rather save their pennies and spend £80 on an arena show a couple of times a year than £10 on tickets to a local show in a grassroots venue every month or so.

It seems that the post-COVID world of socialisation has a lot to answer for… especially within the younger generation - with nearly 20% of 18-24 year olds surveyed in 2024 saying they “do not have enough energy” to go out.

Venues have been battling shrinking demand since 2019, with business costs spiralling in recent years and 2024 seeing 125 grassroots venues in the UK close their doors forever.

On top of this, as Sam Fender famously spoke out about last year, there’s a huge class divide within the industry that only seems to be getting bigger - with Fender noting that “the music industry is 80 percent, 90 percent kids who are privately educated”. Without money into grassroots venues, independent musicians without this financial backing can’t even get a foot in the door - people seem to have forgotten that the likes of Coldplay, The Gallagher brothers and even Taylor Swift (on her first UK tour) started out selling £3 tickets at tiny venues across the country.

So, I’m going to try and be the change I want to see - and pledge to go to at least one independent show per month. I’m aware I’m not going to change the fabric of the current industry or anything like that - but more than anything, I just want to see more live music and remind myself why I fell in love with it in the first place.

I’m going to (be attempting to) document my escapades over on Tiktok - so if you want to follow along, come and find me over there! (@mollyrymermusic) x

For now, here are some local gigs coming up in Leeds if you fancy going to any!

29/10/25 - Hyde Park Book Club - Stone Jets, Poppy Prescott

29/10/25 - The Domino Club - Emma Coates, Aunty Freeda, Lucy Robinson, Lucy Kate

30/10/25 - Oporto - Alien Chicks

30/10/25 - Lending Room - Daffo and Bug Hotel

03/11/25 - Hyde Park Book Club - Araya, Aaron Brooks, Lola Simms, Aunty Freeda

04/11/25 - Brudenell Social Club - Litany

05/11/25- The Wardrobe - Rianne Downey

13/11/25 - The Cardigan Arms - Throughlines with Alice Kim, Gemma Gates, and Slip Martin

Maybe see you there! x

FURTHER READING:

NME - Sam Fender On Class Privilege + The Music Industry

Economics Observatory - Live Music In The UK: What’s The State Of The Industry? (2024)

The Guardian - Meet Generation Stay-At-Home

Making A Scene - Why The Traditional Music Industry Is Crumbling

Welcome back to my substack… it’s been a little while, but I’m hoping that’s all about to change!

I’ve realised that there are lots of things going on in the music industry, from both creative and business standpoints, that I find myself wanting to talk about more and more… so I thought, why not with a bunch of music lovers?

SO - here’s the plan - a bi-monthly newsletter where I fill you in on what’s new with me, but also what’s new/old/on my mind about music too.

Right now, life is good over here. I’ve just announced a headline show in Leeds in December with my gorgeeeouuusss band, and I’m about to announce my first ever headline show in LONDON in December too, which I am SO flipping excited about!!! AND because you lovely humans are my most intimate confidants, you can have a little look now (and have first access to the ‘early bird’ tickets, if you or any of your friends are down that way!)

LONDON - EARLY BIRD TICKETS

Life is also GREAT because it’s the start of Q4 and it feels like all my favourite artists are releasing new music at the moment. After hearing for years from my peers and industry professionals that the album is dead, I’ve been so invested in listening to my favourites start to finish on their release - getting excited about small easter-eggs that appear between tracks and how a concept starts and completes. My favourite album for this right now is Olivia Dean’s The Art of Loving, closing with a beautiful depiction of where love appears for us all in life with I’ve Seen It. I could listen to that song time and time again and still feel it in my bones.

But in a lot of ways, the album is dead, at least for people like me - and it looks like the shift started in 2017 (well before COVID-19 hit the entertainment industries like a ton of bricks), with BBC News noting that streaming consumption in the UK shot up from 36.4% of total music consumption in 2016, to 50.4% just a year later. And Forbes’ 2024 report on top streaming statistics reveals a huge 89% of all US music industry revenue now comes from streaming services.

This streaming culture lends itself a lot better to single-releases rather than albums, as we’re more accustomed to listening to lots of different songs by lots of different artists, rather than hosting a special collection of our favourites, like we would’ve done with CDs + Cassettes - and even iTunes downloads in more recent years.

What I didn’t realise is that this consumption format isn’t all that different to the 50s and 60s - where labels required artists to have a successful string of singles before they could even THINK about writing an album. Although, different to the 60s of course, modern streaming means that we can access more music at our fingertips than ever before (making it very saturated). I feel overwhelmed on the daily by the amount of talented musicians I see on Instagram alone - we’re fighting for 30 seconds of somebody’s time, never mind 30 minutes.

To put it in the words of this blog in The Strange Journal, “There is too much music! […] What the f*ck am I supposed to do with 21 tracks? Huh?! This is not sustainable.” (I get this feeling a lot with books, but it did make me giggle a little bit when I saw it written down).

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Honestly, whilst I understand the sentiment, I’m not sure this entirely hits the nail on the head for me.

One of my favourite things about Spotify (as terrible as it is for DIY musicians) is that I’m always discovering new music - for example, what started with CMAT’s Take A Sexy Picture Of Me on my On Repeat playlist, has turned into half the Euro-Country album in my downloads.

In a nutshell, I am still thoroughly in love with the idea of the album… But I don’t think I’ll be releasing my debut any time soon.

Maybe the live show is the new home of the album for independents? One moment of captured attention to share music in an order of their choosing? I don’t know…

Anyways, thank you for reading! If you want to know more about streaming stats, Spotify’s singles ethos, or more writing on whether the album is dead or not, I’ll link them below!

Here are a handful of my favourite albums (old + new):

• The Art of Loving - Olivia Dean

• Rumours - Fleetwood Mac

• Older - Lizzy McAlpine

• Man’s Best Friend - Sabrina Carpenter

• Love Me Too Well, I’ll Retire Early (EP) - Katie Gregson-MacLeod

• These Streets - Paolo Nutini

• Backstreet Symphony - Thunder

There are plenty more… but if you have any recommendations for other great albums then drop them here or DM me on Facebook/Instagram - I can always make time!

Have a gorgeous rest of your week - and chat soon!! :) x

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FURTHER READING LINKS:

FORBES - Top Streaming Stats 2024

NME - Spotify’s Daniel Ek

FORBES - The Music Album Is Dead, But Not Everyone’s Accepted It Yet (2018)

THE STRANGE JOURNAL - The Album Is Dead!

My relationship was fairly new during this point in my life and I know, looking back, there were times I really didn’t respond well to the ways I was feeling - I was paranoid, jealous, single-minded, scared, and just lots of other things you really don’t want to be when you’re 22 and newly in-love.

Five years later and I’m understanding myself a lot better… that doesn’t mean I don’t still have waves of anxiety, I definitely do, but I know how to communicate what’s happening now… at least most of the time.

Anyways, the point of all this is that sometimes I want to reach out to my ex and apologise for the ways I behaved when I wasn’t feeling well - I want to explain what was happening, and hope it helps them understand too.

But… how far can my “sorry” actually be selfless?

I know deep down that I want to try and explain myself… to alleviate some of the guilt that’s been sitting on my chest since that relationship ended. I know that, even with the intention of taking full and apologetic responsibility for my actions, some of that “sorry” is to serve myself.

As I’ve refrained from inserting myself back into my ex’s life, I’ve been trying to process those feelings through my songwriting. I’ve been bringing it to the table of every co-write I’ve been lucky enough to be involved with lately, and it really seems to be sticking with people.

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Here are some lyrics we’ve been writing:

I’ve been driving past the exit that

Leads to your parents house

I wonder where you’re living

And I need you not to get confused

I’m not still in love with you

But I’ve been thinking about

Sorry is selfish

If it’s only for me

And I get the sense that

It will only bring you grief…

_____

We were just three months in

Tourists on a sinking ship

Tryna finish a bottle of wine

_____

And we argued just like children

Threw our toys, slammed the door

Waiting for some reassurance someone cared

_____

And sometimes I’m afraid, you’ll remember me that way - now you’re gone

So yeah… is “sorry” a selfish word? I’m still not sure. Let me know what you think x

Listen to “sorry (v1)” here: https://on.soundcloud.com/bAV5DdR74idDNdAvzJ

x x x

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cowards and heroes [live] - molly rymer ft. solly lindars and james allen

hello you lovely lot!

for those of you who have been with me on mailchimp for a little bit, hello again :) - welcome to my new space for sharing! i’m hoping this will be a little more informal, like a blog of sorts… or a newsletter…

what i really want to do is create a space where we can chat! i’m a big bookworm (when I can make the time) and i realised i have SO many on my list, so i’m going to start sharing ONE book recommendation and ONE book i’d like to read somewhere in these posts… if you’ve read any of them, please throw me a message across and share your thoughts !!

today we’ll start here…

book recommendation: the book thief - markus zusak

book i’d like to read: the satsuma complex - bob mortimer

in other news… the main news really… is I’ve just released some new music! (wooo!)

you might be thinking, hey, i’ve heard this track already, right? and that’s true. this is a duet reimagining of cowards and heroes from my debut EP, ALL YOU CAN EAT. it’s got a whole new verse (written by the wonderful Connor Walsh), and is stripped back to it’s bare bones to retell one of my most honest songs.

i wrote this one about six months after my first real relationship came to an end and i was reflecting a lot on how i’d felt as a person towards the end of that…

“you put it all in my hands like i planned to get caught in a lie” is maybe one of my favourite lines i’ve ever written. i think it just sums up the pressure i was feeling, that i put on myself mostly, to be able to fix something that was beyond my control and feeling like a bit of a fraud because of my inability to do so. at the heart of it, it’s a song about goodbyes and about needing to be brave, both things i wasn’t very good at at the time.

Connor’s verse (performed by the wonderful Solly Lindars), tells another side to the story… here it is next to the original verse:

Molly’s verse two:

And it’s hard to admit I was part of the problem

But there’s no innocence in this war

And maybe the next time

I’ll find there’s some heart in solving

But you know

All my promises are poor

Connor’s verse two:

We talked through the night til our eyes got heavy

We hoped we would find a way to survive

But all that was left

Was an echo in my head reminding me

Of a love that was damned, I put it all in your hands

Cos I couldn’t leave it behind

…on top of all of that, this version is completely live (eeee !!) and features the very talented James Allen on grand piano!

it’s out EVERYWHERE and the gorgeous video we made for it is out everywhere too <3

please go and listen to it if you haven’t already! i hope you love it as much as i do.

…

oh, and thank you for joining me over here on substack !! there is more music coming VERY soon (i promise, SO soon !!!)

- M xxx